My hair is starting to curl under my hat, which means it is time for me to call and make an appointment with my hair dresser.
To those who know me, this may sound absurd. After all, I have very little hair left on my head. Bald jokes aside, it reminded me of a time when I use to experience anxiety while getting my hair cut.
I use to get my haircut at a local barber shop about 15 minutes out of town. I got my first haircut there when I was a baby and my father and grandfather used to go there too. Long story short, the son took over the shop and it wasn’t the same anymore. So for over a year I tried to find myself a hair dresser that would take the time and cut my hair right — most were lazy and left me looking like a conehead.
I think getting your hair cut is a personal thing, you have to have some sort of rapport with the person cutting your hair. Or at the very least feel comfortable with them.
I never felt comfortable with most of the hair dressers. I would often times get nervous and fear getting all hot and start sweating, which would make my hair wet and I would fear what they would think of me. Looking back its a stupid thing to worry about, but I did worry about it.
I also, would get nervous about what to talk about, which made my stomach feel uneasy, which in turn I worried about having to get up out of my seat to rush to the bathroom. I’d than start worrying… asking myself where was the bathroom? Most didn’t have any, which would require me to leave the shop. What would they think of me, if I rushed out of the shop?
These all seem like ridiculous fears, but at the time they were real… and going to get my hair cut wasn’t a pleasant experience for the longest time.
My haircut anxiety stopped when I stopped worrying about what others would think of me and started to focus on others. Instead of not knowing what to say, I would ask simple questions like “has it been a busy day today?” or ” have you seen that new movie?”. I learned that I didn’t need to know what to talk about, instead I could ask general type questions I knew the hair dresser would already know and have him/her talk. People love talking about themselves, so stop worrying about what to say, just ask them questions and listen.
Another thing that helped me overcome my haircut anxiety was to realize that I was always in control. I was never trapped in that chair and if for any reason I needed to get up and use the washroom, I would and I couldn;t care less what others would think — even if I had to rush outside the shop to a nearby restaurant to use some public facility. I was in control and I did not worry about what others would say. Just knowing I was in control allowed me to relax and feel much better.
What about yourself? Have you ever experienced haircut anxiety? If so, feel free to leave a comment and share your story so we can let others know that they are not alone and that many people have gone through similar experiences.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
YES! I have to work myself up to even go inside. Once I go inside, if I have to wait in queue to have my hair cut it makes my anxiety so much worse. I experience all the things you mentioned. I think I mainly feel trapped in the situation. It feels like an endless cycle. I get ridiculous fears (which I know are ridiculous but happen anyway) and then I’ll worry about if I start to worry. And, it is dumb stuff like, what if I pass out? What if my blood pressure gets too high and I have a heart attack? Anyway, although I’m really shy, thanks for the advice and I’ll surely give it a try.
Waiting in queue is uncomfortable, I typically grab a magazine or newspaper and read it while I wait. This tends to relieve the awkwardness of simply sitting there having to watch others get their haircut. But you are right about the cycle. —- anxiety is really a cycle of fear that feeds upon itself to the point where the physical symptoms appear and only help to validate what we think is happening or going to happen.
I can totally relate Jason! I suffer the same way. As a woman, I have gone far too long with the same boring hair style because of my fears/anxiety of sitting “trapped” in that dreaded chair! I have tried to “talk myself into it” on numerous occasions and then always chicken out. I have asked a friend who is also a hair stylist to give me a new “do” this weekend. I am trying to remain calm about it but can already feel the anxiety starting to build and it’s two days away! I KNOW I am in control of the situation and can ask her at any second to stop and let me take a break, but still…the anxiety is there and I feel I can’t shake it. Geesh!!! wish I could get past this.
It is great to hear from you regarding your anxiety challenges with getting a haircut. Ever since I started this blog it has helped me see that I’m not alone — I guess that is really the goal of this blog is to bring people together to share their stories and experiences. I’m sure there are countless people around the world right now… feeling the symptoms … sitting in a chair… worrying, sweating, feeling like they are going to pass out.
They are probably thinking that they are odd or weird for feeling this way, but when I read comments like yours… it helps me to remember that anxiety is not a unique or isolated incident where I feel like I’m not “normal”…. it makes me want to further understand why so many people do fear things that when we step back and look at them are really non-threatening.
I’m a huge believer of cause and effect. Maybe anxiety disorders are a symptom of a societal structure that is failing?…
A follow-up:
I did it! I got a haircut!! And one day earlier than planned! Not only did I get a fabulous haircut, I had highlights done, my hair was blow dried, styled, the whole works! Two hours of sitting in THAT chair!
I was VERY anxious/panicky before we started and didn’t expect to make it through. But, I repeated in my head that I WAS IN CONTROL of this situation and honestly, it helped me a great deal. It’s very difficult to explain to someone who has never experienced anxiety/panic associated with getting a hair cut how you REALLY are feeling. So, I shared with my friend that I was extremely nervous of having my hair cut and it’s possible I would need her to stop whatever she was doing AND abruptly.
Thankfully, I never had to ask her once. My next BIG step will be to have someone who is NOT a friend/relative do my hair for me. Where I will be in an unfamiliar place, with unfamiliar people. Oy! That will be a while from now, but really, I think I can get through it. I’m just so relieved to know that there are people who totally know where I am coming from and understand. Before I found this Blog, I really, truly felt I was the ONLY ONE who suffered this way. It’s very comforting to know that I am not alone. More comforting is the fact that I took the plunge a few days ago and I now know that I was truly afraid…..of nothing. Slowly but surely I will rid myself of my anxiety. It’s not going to be an easy task, but with patience and perseverance I know I can do it. Thank you Jason for your Blog.
It’s so nice to read (from your personal experience) as so many articles I have found on the internet are just general articles regarding anxiety. I can relate to more than one of your posts and will check back often for updates.
Congrats and thank you. I look forward to writing more posts soon.